oh cal, I feel for you. You have so much to deal with. I am really concerned when you say you have lost all hope. Remember that when we are at that very point that HP does His best work. We are weak, he is strong. Lean on his strength.
Borrow some of mine because I am doing pretty good this week with the exception of brats at work. But, really, get to a counselor. A psychologist. See your regular doc too, if you feel depression coming on. Get all the help you can. You deserve it.
The best place for my addict son was behind bars. I knew he was safe, and wasn't drugging. He dried out and is doing pretty good now. There really is hope. Sometimes the worse place we think they should be winds up being the place they need to be in.