UN, you will be ok... trust!
for me, i worked the steps as fast as my sponser would let me...
i got to learn to know me, and my alcoholism...
i read this, and it helped put me on another level of recovery...
perhaps, it may help you!
"The Busload in my brain!"
you know how people say they have a committee in their head? With most of us its just a couple of voices, arguing periodically for control. With me, i've got a busload of defects, driving clown-style, willy-nilly down the road of life! All of them: pride, impatience, arrogance, apathy, prejudice, deceit, fear, self-centeredness, self-righteousness, self-loathing, possessivness, close-mindedness, hatred, control, egotism, rage, lust, paranoia, and insecurity, just to name a few. Each of them constantly clamoring to be in the drivers seat! It's a constant struggle, full of chaos. With me screaming every now and then, "I'll turn this bus right around!" In a seat by itself sits addiction. And while all of the others scream and carry on, addiction sits quietly, patiently, because he knows that as soon as any of theese others win a temporary victory, he'll be the one realy driving!
good wishes UN
a careing alk'y
rz