That was the hardest part to deal with was my only son. I swear I cried the first year of sobrity. He forgives me but forgiving myself was unheard of. I beat myself up for a long time. I still feel regret but I know I cannot change the past. I was messed up his whole childhood.
He is being released from prison next week. He has spent most of his 20's locked up for stealing. He has seen me sober for the last 7 years, mostly prison visits. Some times I feel the blame and then I try to not do that to myself.
I am hoping that people will respond to you so I can learn to deal with this myself. I feel it is normal to have regrets and feel pain. I held in all those emotions for so long, and I believe it is not healthy to do that anymore.