Hi User Name,
It will get better for you.
I was quite miserable early in recovery too. I had regrets, guilt, and shame to deal with and I needed to figure out what my life was all about. In fact, I was still feeling bouts of guilt, two years later and a lovely lady from SR suggested journalling. I really didn't want to write down my feelings and see the words in front of me, but I began. And, it helped so much to get things out.
And, yes my sobering up at that time has made me believe I never want to do it again. It will get better and you don't have to feel like this again.