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Old 01-09-2008, 03:06 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
grateful2b
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Originally Posted by caraway View Post
As an alcoholic myself, whilst no other person can get me sober, its certainly good to have someone else around and for me I can honestly say it helps - a lot.

Grateful2b, maybe I'm a romantic, but I believe that if two addicts (we're humans too!) get together, even if warning bells are going off, if theres so much of an inkling that theres something good between them, I say they go for it.

Theres a story in 'Beyond the Influence' that I feel applies somewhat to myself, and I would imagine others too -

'I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change. I resented them, and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change,but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that, like the others, my best friend kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped. Then, one day, another friend said to me, "Don't change. I love you just as you are."

These words were music to my ears. "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change... I love you as you are." I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!

Now I know that I couldn't really change until I found someone who would love me whether I changed or not.'


I identify so much with that. We are social animals. We need each other.
Caraway, .... I identify with your post...and this is what I see as the potential in this situation as I understand this person and some of their very real issues. I do believe in love's healing potential and I echo your sentiments that we are social animals and need each other. Kellyd also points out the other part of the argument for me...that the true alcoholic will not until he/she is ready, stop drinking for anything/anybody...
I am not sure if this person is a 'true' alcoholic...but time will tell if this relationship has the potential to heal this person's heart.
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