Labrador...
I honestly don't know if you wife has an addiction problem but your story sounds an awful lot like mine.
My ex husband (exah) developed a heroin addiction about 4 years into our marriage...It took me almost a year to figure out that the problem was drugs. I thought he was depressed. I'm not a drug user either and I NEVER thought the problem was drugs. Never !!
The biggest tell-tale sign that I had at the time was money. I also paid all the bills...ALL of them ! ALthough he worked full time, he always claimed that he owed someone money for some ficticious thing or another or that his boss 'shorted' him on his check or that his cash flew out the window as he was driving (an actual excuse that he used on me)...or some other imaginative explanation for why he didn't have any money to help pay the bills. Boy, I heard some doozies !! We began to have terrible fights about money.
My advice...stop paying bills that belong to her. If your lifestyle depends upon her working and contributing to the bills and she isn't doing it, consider adjusting your life so that you don't have to rely upon her for help. In my case, I gave up our marital home and found something cheaper that I could handle on my own. Its the only way that I managed to find some peace in my life.
My exah started using heroin only after we had a child together. When kids are involved, the issue becomes much more difficult.
Whether your wife is using drugs or not, its clear that you have some problems in your relationship. Have you ever considered a separation so that you can assess the situation from a safe distance? Just an idea.
WHatever you decide to do (or not do), I'm glad you've discovered this forum. ITs been a true blessing for me. I hope it is for you too. Best of luck...