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Old 01-07-2008, 05:17 PM
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familymember
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 24
Help, do we put him on the streets?

SO, some of you may remember my story... I am the sister to a cocaine/crack addict. He was missing for a month, out on a binge. He has been home for one month now (although, I realize as I write this that there is a possibility he has "left" again). He hasnt accepted or asked for any help being offered to him (rehabs, counseling, etc.). He has times where he seems himself again and then days when he is in bed for days. I realize that he is also suffering from major depression (he doesnt have a prior history) and that his brain chemistry has been changed due to his prolonged substance use. The problem is I have been trying to get off the rollar coaster, but every time I call my mother, he is all she can talk about. Recently, I have been feeling like I dont even want to call my mother. She is a terrific mother and person, we are very close; I feel bad even having that thought. :prayingMy mother is really tied into my brother, even financially. He pays half the mortgage in a duplex house, which he hasnt paid for 4 months. My mother might lose the house, since she is having trouble paying the bills or get another job. I am not in a financial position to help her and I am not sure if I would, as I am saving for my own house.
Here is the problem... what should I be telling my mother? My brother claims he is looking for a job (although, I dont see any action there), but how would he hold a job when I am sure he is still using? Does my mother give him a date in which he has to have a job or be in treatment (she is willing to cover the bills for awhile longer, if he is in treatment) and then kick him out? How do we kick him out and leave him on the streets (he has no money)?? It is comforting knowing he is there (and is alive), but I realize it is time-limited and a false sense of security. He has lost almost everything and says he is an addict, but yet he isnt ready to get help??? I just dont understand this.
please help, any and all advice/suggestions is appreciated.
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