Hey Steve11694 -- you asked about getting help, trying to reason with my AH. He's been arrested for DUI, been to AA and spent years promising to stop drinking. The point where he was in AA and afraid he would lose us... was awesome. It just didn't last.
At this point, alcohol is not the problem. "I" am the problem (his words.. and of course it's because I fight him on his drinking. So unless he gets sick or arrested, I'm afraid he will drink himself to death in front of my kids and I. I'm going to reach out to his family, was just waiting until he told them about divorce. (It's not my place to tell his parents we are splitting up after 20 years. Once he tells them I'll let them know how bad it is because I'm totally out of energy, arguments, and resources to fight this battle.)
It's just so sad. Glad I found this forum and support system... just sorry we all have to be here.