how long before he drinks himself to death?

Old 01-06-2008, 04:53 PM
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how long before he drinks himself to death?

Hello All,

I'm new here, I've been hovering for months and finally decided to join the fun! In a world where you can feel so alone and it seems like no one cares, it's comforting to know there are people out there that understand. I have an AH, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 2 cats and by far the most stressfull is the AH. My story is pretty much like so many others here... it's like a form letter with "insert youf A's name here", same basic receipe, just with a few different ingredients thrown into the pot.

The main reason I decided to post is to ask if anyone knows how much alcohol it takes to actually drink yourself to death. (I don't mean passing out and choking on vomit or even alcohol poisoning) I mean my AH is drinking a fifth of vodka a day... how long can his body keep this up. It's been this heavy for about the last 6 months and he is drinking at least 5-6 days a week. Any ideas on how long before his body starts revolting?

I am surrounded by a gizzilion people in this world, and I fell like I have no true friends or safe haven. I'm just sad and confused.

I truely hope to make it past the acquaintence stage and into friendships here. I really do need a friend.
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Old 01-06-2008, 05:24 PM
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Good news and bad news: If you are involved with an alcoholic, then your acquaintances here will last a lifetime. This is a lifetime illness. Having said that, we are happy you have found your way to this forum and are pleased to make your acquaintance.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love do this to themselves.

I'm not sure there is an answer to your question. My AH was also drinking full bottles of vodka every day for a very long time. I honestly did not believe he would live. I had given up all hope of ever seeing him come through it. But he finally did. I can't explain why his body appears to have suffered no ill effect as a result of his drinking (for 30+ years). It seemed to go beyond any medical explanation. How he came to find his way back has been the most spiritual awakening of my life. I can only describe it as a divine intervention. What I believe is this: The life and breath of all mankind is in the hands of God.

If your AH is drinking as much as you say, then he can't be functioning very well anymore. Try to resist the urge to "do" for him. He could be close to his bottom, IF you allow him to hit it.
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Old 01-06-2008, 05:29 PM
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Welcome to SR. I really dont think that there is a magic number of days, months, or years. The only thing I came to realize was that my AH and the issue of alcoholism was slowly killing ME. My question to you is "How long can YOUR body take the stress of this life?"

At my first AlAnon meeting I heard the phrase "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes". It has made a huge difference to me. No more going around and around on the merry-go-round. It was time for me to get off and start putting down boundaries. I suggest that you do the same - do it for YOUR sake and for your children.

This is tough road but I can tell you from personal experience the individuals here at SR have helped me tremendously. Hugs to you.
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Old 01-06-2008, 06:23 PM
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Well, like my username says "sympathy gone"... I have seemed to detach too far. He'll say he hurt his back at work, and I really don't care, and that's sooo not me. It seems I have shut down all emotion so that I don't feel the hurt, but in turn I don't feel the happiness either (when the few times arise). I'm a a person who loves to love and laugh, and it seems like it's been forever since I've felt either. I'm concerned about his health, but he's an adult and can make he own choices. As can I. I'm just afraid of the choices that are in front of me.
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Old 01-06-2008, 06:23 PM
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hi all,
I , too, am a newbie. I'v been reading and learning here for the last few weeks.

I just found out that my brother in law is going to die from alcohol.
He has been drinking a fifth of whiskey everyday for years. He is only 33 years old and the doctors say he won't live to see his next birthday in july.

He was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, brain damage from the alcohol and a completely ruined liver.

His wife, my sister, had already left him but their divorce isn't final yet.
He moved across the country for work and has asked that she and the kids come stay with him until its done. she has agreed. I think i'd have done the same (i have an AH too).

They have 2 small daughters.

Even after this diagnosis he still won't quit drinking. I am constantly surprised just how powerful a hold alcohol has on people. Why is it so socially acceptable when it causes such train wrecks of peoples lives? I swear it should be illegal.

thanks
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Old 01-06-2008, 06:47 PM
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hope2be happy, The unfortunately thing is that he is functioning very well, it amazes me. Sometime I wonder how he gets up for work in the morning. I don't know if he will ever hit bottom. He once told be not to ask him to choose the bottle or me cause I won't like the outcome. What a blow to my ego. I almost wish he was seeing another woman... at least then it would be a fair fight.
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Old 01-06-2008, 07:33 PM
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Unhappy

I could have written this question. I'm new here as well, AH whose drinking has escalated significantly.

I asked for a divorce this week and we are starting to sort through possessions, talk about the divorce (when he's sober,) and get ready to put our house on the market.

He's been in a downward spiral for a few months, but now that he understands I'm serious about this divorce -- he's drinking has escalated even more this week. It's starting to take its toll physically. He just looks really bad and is starting to have some physical symptoms.

I'm afraid that he is going to drink himself to death because I am divorcing him. I understand that is his problem and not mine -- I just don't want the kids and I to have to watch. It seems like things are going to get bad very quickly if this weekend was any indication.

Keep my kids and I in your prayers and thoughts please.
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Old 01-06-2008, 11:07 PM
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You've raised an interesting question ...

... and one that has been discussed here before. There is no way to know how long an A has to live unless a medical doctor makes a diagnosis. And, even then, I believe there are A's out there with nine lives who can beat the odds.

My AH is what I call a "dead man walking." He is a shrunken, skeletal being. Absolutely NO skin on his behind whatsoever. He wears 30-inch waist jeans and they're falling off him. He has a scruffy beard, no longer wears contacts, (prefering to wear an old pair of wire-rimmed glasses), has what appears to be neurological problems - facial tick, shaking hands, staggering gait. His memory is shot and a lot of his everyday cognitive ability is gone too. Commonsense things baffle him and he remembers almost nothing, he even has to search for words to link a sentence together most of the time.

How long will he live? Don't know. He never goes to doctors, so heaven only knows what his liver enzyme levels must be. Regardless, he still survives. He has a very strong gene pool, so he could very well outlast me!

Regardless of how long he "lives" doesn't matter because he isn't really living. He exists. No friends. No interaction other than that he has with coworkers. No family ties. No interest in much of anything, other than drinking.

So I think when we ask how long they'll live, we're basically inquiring into how long an A's physiological functions will continue. What they're doing isn't remotely related to living.
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by beaglebaby View Post
I could have written this question. I'm new here as well, AH whose drinking has escalated significantly.

I asked for a divorce this week and we are starting to sort through possessions, talk about the divorce (when he's sober,) and get ready to put our house on the market.

He's been in a downward spiral for a few months, but now that he understands I'm serious about this divorce -- he's drinking has escalated even more this week. It's starting to take its toll physically. He just looks really bad and is starting to have some physical symptoms.

I'm afraid that he is going to drink himself to death because I am divorcing him. I understand that is his problem and not mine -- I just don't want the kids and I to have to watch. It seems like things are going to get bad very quickly if this weekend was any indication.

Keep my kids and I in your prayers and thoughts please.

Not that it would definitely sink in but have you told him alcohol is not the solution but the problem?

They start to drink more believing it will fix whatever problem. They may drink to celebrate positive things. They may drink for any reason whatsoever, or no reason at all.
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Old 01-07-2008, 05:17 AM
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Hi sympathy-gone-My AH of 23 years has been drinking most of our married life. In fact, probably about 20 years ago, he to was drinking a fifth of vodka a day. He was/is in outside sales-how scarey to think he drove-It eventually put him in the hospital but he still did not stop. Having said that, long story short, he continued to drink because he could not function without-then he went into rehab. Back then I believed he would come out "cured", little did I know this is a life long journey. Sure, he stopped for awhile but eventually went back-little by little-(started with the "non-alcoholic beer" )He decided to switch to "beer/wine" instead of the hard stuff- (so what!! HA HA) and to this day is back to drinking functionally- in the closet-he tries to hide it but of course it is obvious when he does. He is now 48, looks terrible but is still ticking! I wait for the body to give out, just when that will be, one does not know. However, I have seen his decline (mentally, and especially physically). I try to continue life as "normal" with my kids. Other than this flaw, he is a great father/husband. I know this disease affects everyone differently and that makes it so hard on the rest of us that love them. Peace to you.
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Old 01-07-2008, 05:25 AM
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welcome Sympathy gone.....


have you tried al-anon? thanks where Ive gotten a mountain of friends....friends who understand......give it a try

hugs to you!!
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:03 AM
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Hi sympathy gone! Welcome! I can truly say this site has been a godsend to me in so many ways...I am so glad you foound this. Do you have any family around to talk with? I am married (12 years) to an alcoholic...3 children and I know firsthand the feelings you are experiencing. It was just December when I came clean to my fam and friends about my AH and his alcohol abuse. I find myself so much more empowered as I read all the responses and recieve the support from everyone here and without manipulation or the least bit of ridicule. So glad you are here and hugs to you!


Oh...I have found my own personal escape in journaling my thoughts...good bad..or whatever they may be...

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Old 01-07-2008, 06:53 AM
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Welcome to SR SympathyG-! Glad that you have found us-

A good question but I'm afraid IMHO and experience there is no answer.....

My father died from this disease, My 3 brothers have been drinking since they were about 13 years of age-2 in denial and 1 that was bleeding from his liver and was told to stop who kept going for 4 more years and is still alive in REHAB again!

I really feel that this disease can take over our own lives if we allow it too-This is why I made a choice for myself to attend counseling, Al-Anon and SR!

It was stated above by daises
At my first AlAnon meeting I heard the phrase "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes". It has made a huge difference to me. No more going around and around on the merry-go-round. It was time for me to get off and start putting down boundaries. I suggest that you do the same - do it for YOUR sake and for your children.
With this said .......why not give counseling or Al-Anon said? It has helped me and continues to help me everyday to live a more calm peaceful life for ME!
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Old 01-07-2008, 07:42 AM
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Hi Sympathygone - welcome. I too feel my sympathy is gone, and it's a shame, for a man who was a great father and husband for many, many years. As for how long this can go on, believe me when I say he may very well outlive you. My husband has alcoholic liver disease, wernecke's syndrome, and probably a lot more things related to his drinking. His liver dr. told him he'll die within 5 years if he doesn't quit drinking. He still hasn't, drank hours before his liver biopsy (a big NO NO as you can bleed to death) and he's still fine. This past Saturday night he was sooo drunk he actually fell into two different trucks on two different occasions (within 5 mins of each other),the second one actually snapping his neck so far back and knocking him unconcious, his body twisted into such a contortion that my daughter (who is a nurse) thought he broke his hip, bleeding from his eyes and face and mouth, who yesterday drank to numb the pain. My daughter and best friend witnessed this and can't get it out of their heads, and say I really must leave or do something for MYSELF (I actually left him laying there bleeding unconcious in the rain and puddle - I was inside and didn't run out). I don't like being this way, it's not like me and I do love him. Like I said, please do for you.
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Old 01-07-2008, 10:32 AM
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My boyfriend drank for 40 years. He used to drink a fifth of brandy every day. When that no longer provided the desired numbing effect, he moved up to the largest size bottle (a half-gallon I believe) roughly two years ago. He died of alcoholism seven months ago.

I think the timeline is different for everyone. What helped me prepare myself for the inevitable and determine what stage of the disease he was in was conducting google searches on the terms "late-stage alcoholism" and "end-stage alcoholism."
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Old 01-07-2008, 03:18 PM
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Hey Steve11694 -- you asked about getting help, trying to reason with my AH. He's been arrested for DUI, been to AA and spent years promising to stop drinking. The point where he was in AA and afraid he would lose us... was awesome. It just didn't last.

At this point, alcohol is not the problem. "I" am the problem (his words.. and of course it's because I fight him on his drinking. So unless he gets sick or arrested, I'm afraid he will drink himself to death in front of my kids and I. I'm going to reach out to his family, was just waiting until he told them about divorce. (It's not my place to tell his parents we are splitting up after 20 years. Once he tells them I'll let them know how bad it is because I'm totally out of energy, arguments, and resources to fight this battle.)

It's just so sad. Glad I found this forum and support system... just sorry we all have to be here.
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Old 01-07-2008, 04:08 PM
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I don't understand it.... he isn't showing signs of any physical problems. I do notice some cognitive impairment, memory loss, short temper, lack of focus, etc. He has no intention of quiting, he says he's gonna be the best A he can be. I accept that I have no control and I am trying to work on me. I've been to some AA and Alanon meetings, and honestly I get more out of the AA meetings. I do however, really like this site. Even if I don't post alot, I am around.
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Old 01-08-2008, 08:03 PM
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As a nurse, I will tell you that individual responses vary a great deal and all livers are not created equal. I sent a woman to hospice after what she and her family reported as only 4 years of heavy drinking-- they might not be a very reliable source, but she was only 32 years old, so likely hadn't been drinking for more than 20 years, max. My husband developed pancreatitis after a year of drinking heavily. On the flip side, I've also seen long-time alcoholics in their seventies and eighties with relatively few cognitive or physical effects: liver enzymes fine, etc. You never know what will happen with their bodies-- yet another unfortunate uncertainty of living with an alcoholic. Encourage a trip to the family doctor for blood work, and good luck-- I'm a newcomer here too, and find it very helpful.
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Old 01-08-2008, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by sympathy gone View Post
.... he isn't showing signs of any physical problems. I do notice some cognitive impairment, memory loss, short temper, lack of focus, etc.
Apparently, he is not as bad off as you think he is, because he would certainly deterioate in front of your very eyes (as in Prodigal's post, above).

Prodigal, you described my AH.
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Old 03-30-2015, 11:50 AM
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My AH left myself and the kids two years ago in February. Since then he has lost his job and finally succumbed to the disease by passing away in February this year 2015 at the age of 41 from alcoholic hepatitis and kidney failure. I think that when they start showing signs of fatty liver and are always getting sick but fail to heed doctors warnings then they are on the path to death. That's was my experience but I guess everyone is different. Suppose the more they drink, the higher the chances of the liver failing. I was always the handbrake and once I was out of the equation, it was eeasier for him to drink regardless. Such a horrible way to die and what a waste of a life.
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