Because......I'd love to give you a big HUG right now. It's awesome that you care so much for your AH and others that you want to be sure you do everything to protect him and others. I think over time you will see that the ALCOHOL is styronger than any love, help, protection you can provide. My AW loves our children.....I KNOW that is true and when she is a sober Mom she is possibley the BEST Mom ever. But alcohol has, time and again, had the strength to put her in a car with them while she is drunk. When she got her DUI she was on the way to pick up my son and a friend!
He needs to stop drinking before your help means anything or will do any good. The best way to help him is to TELL him that and detach until he "gets it". You will probably help him more quickly and effectively through this method of detachment. Remember that detachment is not to punish the A it is to set boundries and communicate to the A that we will NOT support, help etc, until they are working on their disease. It is more effective that what you and others think is support. Support without boundries and a level of detachment is just plain old enabling.
If nothing changes....nothing changes!
Keep posting!