Regarding the issue of detachment, I am afraid it is not something that I could do because I don't believe that it is morally or ethically correct to do so. This is just my personal opinion and those who detach have a right to their opinions.
How could I live with myself if I looked the other way as he was poisoning his liver? How could I live with myself if I looked the other way as he was developing liver disease? How could I live with myself if I looked the other way and he drove drunk? How could I live with myself if I looked the other way and he had a drunk driving accident and put someone in a wheelchair for life, or worse, killed that person? How could I live with myself if I looked the other way and he ended up in prison, or in a coma, or dead himself?
I know that I couldn't. Right now he is not with me. But, I know I did everything possible to save his life (and the lives of others he could have killed while driving drunk) while he was living with me. If I had to go back, I would do it all over again the same way.
The balance in our relationship worked until he deteriorated rapidly and could no longer control his drinking the way he used to. As I mentioned, he progressively got worse, and he no longer had any type of control over his drinking. He became very ill. I was looking at a picture of him that was taken on Thanskgiving and comparing it to a picture from New Year's Eve Dec 31, 2005. He looks like a different person. He aged so much in a short time and he just doesn't look right. It's so very sad.