Originally Posted by
scaredykat 
Hi guys, I just wanted to let you know i went to my meeting tonight. I felt really nervous. I felt like everyone knew that I drank again. I didn't get a white chip chip. I still feel really ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't tell them anything. I just listened tonight except for the small talk. I'm still holding on to resentments with some of the people in my area. My sponsor is one of them. I feel like she doesn't have time for me or something. She never called me back yet from last week after i left her a message.
Barb
I have not had the experience of relapse but I have an enormous amount of respect for anyone who is willing to keep trying and come back into a meeting after a relapse as I feel it shows a lot of strength and courage.
Have you considered trying a different meeting. Sometimes when I start getting frustrated with things I take a break from my regular meetings and go to different ones for a while. This allows me the break I need to recenter and not build resentments. Have you also considered finding a different sponsor? It took me 3 sponsors to find the right one for me. The first one kept telling me that I wasn't ready to work the steps. The second was a temporary sponsor that I did a 5th step with. I have had this one for over 3 years. She has taught me how to apply the steps and principles in every aspect of my life. I hope you are able to find someone who can help you find a way to a happy, healthy sobriety. I am glad you are here.
Judith