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Old 10-01-2007, 12:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Going to try again- hope I make it Part 2


Scaredykat's thread continues.

Here is the last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-make-20.html
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 10-01-2007, 12:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Thank you Anna. I can't believe how much I wrote along with everyone else.

Barb
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Old 10-01-2007, 12:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm glad you're doing well Barb!

Congratulations on your 9 days? sober!
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 10-01-2007, 12:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 10-01-2007, 01:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Yes, today is Day 9. This time is definitely different for me. I feel it in my heart that I'm an alcoholic and not just in my head like I have for years. I'm also talking to my HP again and trying to trust him again.

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Old 10-01-2007, 01:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Yes, that can be really difficult.

I know for me I was abused as a child and I used to pray constantly for God to help me and he never did and I felt totally abandoned. I turned away from all of that for many years. In recovery I have connected with my spiritual part again and it's wonderful. But, I still have dark moments when I wonder if my HP will abandon me again. I'm working on that.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 10-01-2007, 07:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Barb........Way to go on Day 9. I must say that you SOUND different this time too. Awesome!
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Old 10-03-2007, 02:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Scaredy,

How are you?


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Old 10-03-2007, 03:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Nine days clean is impressive. Congratulations! You're sober! I usually lose my cool around Day 3 and then head down to the store for a six pack. I'm not a very good weaner. I'm all talk on Day 2 - "The New Me" - but then I lose it on Day 3 and start tricking myself into weaning theories.
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Old 10-03-2007, 03:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Yes, that can be really difficult.

I know for me I was abused as a child and I used to pray constantly for God to help me and he never did and I felt totally abandoned. I turned away from all of that for many years. In recovery I have connected with my spiritual part again and it's wonderful. But, I still have dark moments when I wonder if my HP will abandon me again. I'm working on that.
Sorry, what is HP?
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Old 10-03-2007, 04:09 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Sorry, what is HP?

Higher Power, I think.
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Old 10-03-2007, 04:13 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Woohoo! Part 2!

You ARE different this time Barb, does it feel different?
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Old 10-03-2007, 04:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Higher Power, thanks.

anna, your HP is what you believe in, that can never abandon you, that's up to you, yeah?
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Old 10-03-2007, 05:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Part 2 Scaredy? So cool .

Like stone said... you are different this time. Everytime you try you become stronger you know. And it is so very different than where you started.
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Old 10-03-2007, 01:16 PM   #15 (permalink)
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hello scaredykat!
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Old 10-03-2007, 01:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hi everyone, Thanks for all the encouragement and welcome Newtonk. I really need it today. I've been feeling depressed and blah all day. One good thing happened today, I finally picked up that 1000 lbs phone and called someone other then my sponsor. I needed to hear a human voice today. Not that you guys don't help.

Tonight's my step meeting and I'll be there. I really need to be there tonight with people. I'm not craving a drink today, so don't worry. I think I'm sitting on my pity pot again about my bad arm. I hate it. I hate being different and living with chronic pain. I don't think the people in AA understand what i go through. They probably think i use it for attention or excuses. I DON'T. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Well maybe my ex. LOL It's his fault anyway.

This was my biggest reason for drinking at the end. To help me forget and drown my sorrows in the bottle. Oh, well. Still depressed after writing this down. Hopefully this passes soon. I like being happy better.

Barb
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Old 10-03-2007, 01:43 PM   #17 (permalink)
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hugs out to you, scaredy. i hope your meeting goes well, and you feel happier afterward.

you need to get a lighter phone..

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Old 10-03-2007, 01:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I proud of you barb.
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Old 10-03-2007, 01:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Ya I do need a lighter phone K. It's scary though calling people that you don't know.
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Old 10-03-2007, 03:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Hey Barb,

It's good to see you calling someone else in the program - I know a girl who has been sober for 5 years now - she's got chronic pain in her arm, too, it's from an old back injury. She goes to meetings several times a week, and if she can't drive herself, her husband takes her. When she's not feeling so bad, she drives new peeps from detox. She has been a huge inspiration to me. Anyway, you made me think of her.
What you perceive as a weakness may well be a strength.

Love ya.
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