Originally Posted by
CBrown 
The title of your post caught my eye. My friend B was married about two years when her husband "went temporarily insane (his description)" ran off, and started living with another woman. No alcoholism involved here. My friend was devastated. He started the divorce proceedings and she prayed about what to do. She did not want to get divorced, did not believe in it, and wanted to give breathing room.
She went out and started living. She didn't give him much of a thought, just worked on her and became a stronger, independent woman. In the meantime, she refused to sign the papers, just said "I need more time to think about this huge decision." I think about two years passed, and by the grace of God, they both resolved their differences and have been married for 25 years, and have two great kids.
Will you and your husband's marriage survive this? I don't know. But you can put this off for a while so you can see the direction you are both going. Don't feel like you HAVE to sign those papers immediately. Make sure it's the right thing for both of you.
And by the way, just because you feel now that you have faith in your marriage, doesn't necessarily make you a "codie."
I recieved the papers in the mail;found I had 30 days to respond,or it was "cut-and-dried"....so I found an attorney who filed the papers to "contest" the action...aka,slow it down. It did proceed and I did hire an attorney,who handled all the legal stuff,which was a huge relief. The same day the papers came back to sign, I learned he was having surgery for prostate cancer,and refused to sign them until at least after the surgery (because I did not want our children in the possible position of making any decsions regarding treatment during the surgery,etc). He actually did not sign them until his attorney called him in to do it,about 5 months later. I have never signed them. (Actually,my lawyer learned this recently about how I was doing and learned this and was going to check to see if we were even legally divorced!)
I'll spare you the details, but I took and continue to take the same path as CB's friend and try to concentrate on myself and kids and getting healthier. ExAH is more confused-acting than ever;might be drinking less,fwiw. I'm in a better (and more "equal" place) so our interactions are much nicer and actually more frequent. They are on MY terms,too or I am not involved.
Who knows what the future will bring? Maybe some day he'll want back together and I won't be interested. I try not to think that far ahead.
Guess what I am saying is it can be slowed down a bit.
Good luck. I figured it was a tragedy;especially with an out-of-control man with a large bank account on the loose.....,but on the "up" side,it seemed like at least this way HALF of our life's savings,etc would at least be spared with a divorce and regardless of anything else,the kids and I would have some security.