I was with my wife for the same amount of time. Her drinking started when she was young also.
It took me awhile to understand that the whole thing was not about me. As for being punished, no you are not. The thing you will learn down the road is that you have stayed in a relationship with someone incapable of being in one. I held mine together with whole cloth and then looked back to see that it really was not all that.
We seem to love people for what we want them to be. What they truly are is something very different.
I suggest some Alanon meetings for you. They will help you find YOURSELF.