Thanks guys!
Smoke - yes what you described does sound like him. He is very insecure and I've noticed some codependent behaviors in him, which isn't surprising since he came from an abusive and alcoholic household.
We did agree in therapy with the counselor that I would work on exerting myself (which isn't easy when I'm faced with such adversity - I tend to hide within myself and literally can't think). The counselor tried to explain to my AH the struggles I am going through with communicating with him because of the type of person I am and the type of person he is. I don't know if it got through or not (probably not), but we'll see.
The counselor did say that if I am able to open up and exert myself, I may be able to find the final answer I need - whether or not I want to stay in the marriage. I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is already - it's just making that move.
So - I am going to try to speak my mind whether or not he likes it and see what kind of reaction I get. I may be surprised and things will start working better or I may get the response I think I will get, in which case, it will be time to make the decision to leave.
Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed to get all that out in the open. I know I've already said this, but I am so glad to be back here.
Hugs and prayers back to you both!
Kitkat