whalespicy,
I'm so glad you're making this move for yourself before your life gets any more hellish than it already is. ( I remember your story from the last time you posted and it has haunted me ever since. ) You have been through a lot, tried everything you could think of, done what you could, and now it appears you have to choose, really: you can keep pouring yourself into that bottomless vessel, or you can start saving yourself.
In helping yourself, you may also be helping her.
Sending you hope and strength to get through this to the other side. There really is a good life waiting for you out there.