You don't sound irrational Kitkat. Maybe just a tad impatient.
The husband you've described sounds pretty controlling and in need of being "right". Either he's cleaned up his tale of what happened and is being contradicted (in which case, his rightness is challenged), or he's getting a lesson in how different people's perceptions of the same incident can be (in which case his rightness is challenged). Maybe he is sincere in wanting to work on things, but is suffering from an attack of defensiveness. You know him. Does that sound in character? Everyone I have ever known that started couples counseling jumped in all excited because the other person was going to get fixed. Then they were surprised and insulted when the subject became THEM. Could he have gotten a surprise tonight? Habits take time to change, and emotional reactions can get to be habitual. He may need some mulling time.
Hugs!