Hey need4 - I don't think you're selfish at all - we are all friends here - we all have our ups and downs, our days when we give and our days when we "take" - don't worry about it. Just be yourself.. and yeah, next thing you know, the sober days add up and you find yourself here, chattering away with your friends. I like your "blue jay" imagery..puts me in mind of spring...I'm ready for that already!
I never used meds. in my personal recovery, so I can't comment, but hope and pray it is what you need it to be. Join in and post whenever, wherever. We all care, or we wouldn't be here. Just do whatever it takes, brother.
I'm off for the night, so take care, and we'll catch up tomorrow.