Hang in there, Need 4, you can do this. It isn't easy, like you said, but it can be done. Lots of "living proof" around here. Do whatever works for you. But don't "wait and see". You need to have a plan. Talking to the doctor sounds good. Also, I know you aren't an AA guy, but there are other types of support groups out there. Any in your area? Can't hurt to look around. Take care, Jomey