I don't expect anyone to reply to what I'm about to post or anything because I'm more or less just talking because I feel like I have to "get it out" because "it" has to go somewhere.
Anyway, the cravings (or what I perceive as cravings) are still driving me nuts. This is unusual because normally this time of the evening I have no cravings at all. My cravings come across as a sort of burning feeling deep in the pit of my stomach and yet no matter how much Pepsid Complete, Prevacid or milk I take/drink, this feeling remains. It's also a feeling in my head...sort of a feeling like I deeply need some substance to feel good again. Sort of like if you were having a "nicotine fit". Perhaps that "something" is alcohol. Perhaps that "feeling" is a craving. I don't know but I wish it would leave me alone. I wish I could pop a magic pill and make everything all better again. If only it were that easy.
I had a baked sub for dinner with a coke. My sister also wrote me a beautiful email thanking me for the Christmas package I sent her. I had not heard from her for awhile and was concerned that she had not received it so it was a big relief to finally hear back from her.
Well, I guess I'm just rambling now. Anyway, I plan to talk to my doctor about getting something to take away these cravings. The Campral isn't working all that great anymore (perhaps because it's nearly 4 months out of date), the Naltrexone makes me nauseous and sick and the Ativan (in the tiny doses I have been taking it in) really don't seem to be helping much. The chocolate ice cream was very good but I'm not even sure that did much for my cravings earlier but as intense as they were, I doubt ANYTHING would have helped
- Need4Change