First of all, thank you all SO MUCH for your continued and unwavering support. I can't believe HOW CLOSE I came!.
During my recent craving (which hit me like a ton of bricks), I ate 2 vienna sausage sandwitches with mustard, a bowl of chocolate ice cream and played a video game. Then, my room mate came home and I thanked him for talking me out of it but told him how scared I was of just how close I had come to relapsing.
I also want to thank all of you (again). Ever since I quit, my mind has been very sharp and clear. I generaly feel quite good and for the first time in awhile, I feel in control of myself and like I have some kind of future ahead of me. I appreciate my food more, my animals more, I enjoy and appreciate just about everything more.
I was an out-of-control mad-man when I was drunk. I would be so uninhibited that I would think nothing of walking right up and asking someone if I could go to bed with their wife or even touching a cop's gun and telling him "hey that's a pretty nice piece you have there sir", etc. Really crazy, risky and downright dangerous stuff!. I had ZERO control of what I did and that was the scariest part of all and why I stopped drinking...out of sheer terror. I could'nt trust myself anymore and was very afraid of what I might do and it was always the same old story EVERY time I drank (without exception)...BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENED!!.
Whew, well I guess I've gotten it off my chest now. Vent over
- Need4Change