The ball started for me in 3 ways, all in one week: I went to my first Al-Anon meeting, met with our doctor and started seeing a therapist. One session with each and I knew it was done. Don't get me wrong, 2 years later I'm still utilizing all three of those resources, but I no longer live in the insanity of alcoholism.
My tip, then, would be to reach out to as many as possible to gain support. I could not believe how many people were relieved for me.
Great Denny! I would also agree that reaching out and getting help for yourself is a great way to start getting your ducks in a row. In my case my AH left me. He thought it would change me- and it did- but not in the ways he expected. The distance has created peace in my house- for the first time in so many years. You think I'm giving that up??? I do have these flickering doubts, but I would have to say that talking to friends and family, seeing my therapist for years, going to al-anon for almost 2, reading, have all given me the strength to say no more. No- I didn't leave him- but I think I was preparing to. His leaving was my kick in the pants. You can't do it alone. Gather strength in family, friends, therapist, books, journaling- anything you can to get healthy. You'll know when enough is enough.