Originally Posted by
hbb 
In both instances there was nothing within the two of us, it was an outsider that was met in this case his ex which i'm sure said the right thing to sway him.
Heather,
Could you re-read this please?
It wasn't his fault. It was someone else who "said the right thing to sway him." Is that what you're thinking?? Gosh, no wonder you're worried about some future someone cheating on you. It's not their fault! It could strike just like lightning, with no warning!! Yikes.
If you continue to choose men who have so little integrity that the right words from an outsider can lead him into an affair, then yes, you will continue to suffer.
People show their true colors in many ways when it comes to integrity. If they make excuses for previous affairs, or steal from their work, or tell funny little white lies, or don't take responsibility for their own actions, then it should never be surprising to you that you, too, will be a victim of their lack of honesty.
It is not YOU making them have affairs. It is their own lack of integrity and maturity.
But you do have a part in this.....you absolutely must learn to identify the signs of someone who is dishonest enough (with himself and with you) to cheat on you.
It's a skill you will develop. And when you start to see the signs, you will run like the wind. And when you develop this skill -- AND the strength to survive someone else's poor choices & actions -- you will be powerful beyond measure.