No sighs Heather. Just a big hug because you are working your way along a difficult journey.
Originally Posted by
hbb 
Maybe in some small, tiny way it validates my self esteem and self worth to hear him say he was sorry and that he felt bad.
Seeking validation from him, or anyone else will not improve your self esteem. In fact, it will continue the problems becasue it comes from outside rather than from within in you.
Originally Posted by
hbb I know someone here said to start now, but by NY's i am MAKING myself stop this rollercoaster i'm putting myself through.
If waiting til New Year's work for you, that's ok. If I were doing it, I would recognize in myself as a delaying tactic but that is me. For you it may be different. And at this point its only a couple of days anyway.
Originally Posted by
hbb I'm going to work on accepting the fact that being alone is the best thing in the world compaired to being in that dysfunctional relationship.
That's a starting point for sure. Accepting reality is important. For me the next step would be to value myself and embrace my time with me because I am worthwhile and a great person.
Originally Posted by
hbb The whole pregnant part of this has really screwed me up, but that too should pass right??!!!
It won't just pass IMO. You are going to have to work on why it bothers you so much. What issues inside you make it important to you that someone else is pregant. Her pregancy doesn't really effect you at all.
I have a question you don't have to answer, jsut consider. Does you therapist challenge you? Push you? If not, please consider finding another therapist because from where I sit your therapy is not breaking down your walls very well yet and perhaps you need a different therapist to get you thru those walls.