I'm sorry you are inthe midst of such termoil and drama. Only you can decide when you have had enough of it and what to dowhen you reach that point.
If you are waivering and feeling the for help in reaching a decision, a tool that can behelpful is to right down the plus and minus points of being where you are. Then look at the results and decide what that list tells you.
As you think about it, remember that no decision is necessarily a permanent one. If you choose to leave now it does not have to mean that you never go back. You can set a boundary for yourself that your AH has to get into recovery and if he stays in recovery for X period of time, you can then talk about getting back together.
The important part is figuring out what you want for you and your life going forward.
Going to AlAnon or getting into therapy can help you understand yourself and how your AH's choices are affacting you.