Oh I know it seems like a cop-out, but you need to think about a few questions.
What do you want? Knowing that you cannot control anyone's actions but your own, what do you want to see happen?
What can you do to get from here to where you want to be?
I don't know how others decide, but when I decided to all just happened. At some point the misery of staying outweighs the fear of leaving.