Sitting on pins and needles
I spoke with my older son this morning, and yesterday didn't go well at all. My AS wasn't participating in packing the U-Haul, and blaming the elder son for not helping him. AS ended up throwing things at his brother who then left. The U-Haul is half packed, and I'm finding it hard to believe that this trip is going to happen. AS seems to be incapable of getting his act together, cannot function without someone holding his hand. At this point, I'm not even sure that being here is going to help him. I don't want to enable him to use drugs by letting him live here, and I don't want him to stay on the West Coast to overdose because he didn't get away from all the triggers and lifestyle that has encouraged him to abuse drugs.
I so appreciate finding a place to process what is going on, and I am grateful when I see that someone else had added their thoughts. Thank you.