82tb

Hi all, technically, I'm new here (though I did have one post like 8 months ago, but it's no where to be found.) I've been reading the all your posts and this really seems like a good place to be, a place I need. What follows is a long read, so you know, just a warning.

(a little backstory)
I feel like my older brother is ruining his life. All of our family has felt like this since he was about 16, he's 24 now. He was a delinquent, always getting into trouble. He's been to jail a few times, but for the last couple of years he's been pretty law-abiding. While he hasn't been getting into trouble with the law anymore, he always hangs out with the wrong kind of people and drinks a lot. His drinking started about 4 years ago- he leaves all day, then comes home in the early morning, (think in the area of 3am,) or doesn't come home at all.

He dropped out of High School, doesn't have a job and makes little effort to get one. At first we were angry and then we just wanted help for him. He doesn't want our help though. I can accept that; after much reading, I've come to learn that none of us can save him, only he can save himself. I want to detach myself from him so badly, and there have been times where I've succeeded. But one week he'll come home drunk 5 out of the 7 days, and then the next two he'll be the good person I know he is deep inside. As hard as that as, I think I can deal with it. I can accept that I cannot save him, I can only save my own sanity and pray for his well being. What tears me up inside is watching my parents try to deal with him. We all tried for him to get help, and their only options in this situation is to either kick him out or detach ourselves and have him keep doing this. I know they won't kick him out, they don't have it in them. I don't blame them, if they ever went through with it, we're pretty sure he'd be lost forever (we'd speed up the process I guess.) I watch them though, and just feel so sad for them. I feel like one day we are going to get a call that he's in jail or worse (I don't even want to type that word.) I know if it ever happens it will be tremendous difficult to deal with, but more than the possibility of him having those things happen to him, the thought of what my parents will feel brings tears to my eyes. I don't want to see them suffer like that.

(on to the present day)
Christmas was ok, but he was buzzed, though I should be glad he wasn't flat out drunk. He came home tonight to get something, then he left again, drunk. I overheard my mom and sister talking about him, I could tell that my mom was worried about somethin happening to him (moreso than usual.) On to the detachment which is my main point of this post- He and I share a room. When he comes home drunk, I take the brunt of it. I see him stumbling around, I clean up after the mess he makes in the kitchen (so no one else has to)- everyone else just locks their doors and goes to sleep. Our room is a bit removed from the other bedrooms. How am I supposed to detach myself from him if I ALWAYS see him come home drunk? What can I do? The last thing I want to do is move out since I enjoy living at home and don't have any other options. I decided to go to a close College mainly because I could stay at home. I don't want to move, and I feel like that isn't even an option.

I want to detach myself from him, but I feel like it is so much more difficult because I'm forced to be in such close proximity to him. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, I know I'll be needing this site in the future.