The other thing about this is that I'm also an ACOA.
I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. I learned to accept it as "normal", to use alcohol to escape reality...
I chose and married a man who was "in some ways" like my father.
Now I see my daughter doing the same thing...
it's an endless cycle. I thought I'd broken it by divorcing their dad, but not really...not for her anyway...
because ...SHE GREW UP THINKING IT WAS NORMAL!!!
and there's nothing I can do to change that.
Take care, merry christmas, hope things turn out well for you.
You know where to find us if you need to...