Aware to say the least
I just need to get out my story, listen if you care to.
Im a 20 year old college junior going to Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, CA
I turn 21 in 3 months...
15 years old: started drinking, stole the family car before I had a permit, passed out at a friends house.
16 : heavy alcohol use, weekends and after school were dedicated to beer and marijuana, started smoking cigarettes
17: heavy cigarette addiction, at least a pack a day. was in a rock band, got wasted before the shows, my first serious relationship with a woman.
18: found out my woman had cheated on me, continued serious drinking. went camping and got arrested for a minor in possession of alcohol as well as contribution to minors(people under 18) with alcohol. Misdemeanor and community service and 3 year probation. Started college. Excited, but severely depressed. used my pain to quit smoking cigarettes( a positive response). lived in the dorms. binge drank, (around 8 + drinks a night, passed out every single weekend)
19. Continued to not smoke cigarettes, had a different girlfriend. quit smoking weed as well. Broke up around christmas. Relapsed weed. Continued to drink. Ripped my asophogus and vommited about a liter of blood due to binge drinking. Had a 2 day hangover.
20. Continued to binge drink. picked up cigarettes again. Got caught with a 6 pack of beer in my trunk which in SLO county= loss of drivers license for a year.
Currently: Without a car, 2 alcohol based misdemeanors
Week 2 of nicotene abstinence. Day 1 of marijuana abstinence.
At this point alcohol is my only drug. But i realise ^ and know what I must do eventually.