thanks paj, that's exactly my plan right now -to keep reaching out and seeing where it leads me.
thanks for the miscarriage comparison. i've had two miscarriages and i know, without a doubt personally, that was the biggest, hardest loss i have ever had. i don't think divorce will come close to that pain. it doesn't help that i partially blame ah for the miscarriage because he was drinking the night before my ultrasound and he upset me because he didn't want to go with me. i got hysterical, hyperventilating. the next thing i knew i got sharp pains. the next morning the baby was gone
of course, i blame myself A LOT more than ah for allowing myself to get that upset.
everyone can tell me that it wasn't my fault, but i will never believe that.
by far, the hardest loss i have ever suffered. the pain never goes away, but you do move on.