Hey guys, thanks for all the kind posts, nearly christmas, and as each day goes by I feel my anger sort of dissolving, my hate mellowing, and myself seeing my dad as dad again, my anger of the past few weeks has changed, I wonder if I'm just supressing like a lot of my feelings, or like always, time just mellows things, and they seem to escape me before i really have a chance to chew it out which sometimes i need to do, or not, the way i obsess sometimes probably isnt healthy. I got through exams, i think i passed two out of three, i'm really proud considering I was zonked on xanax for a bit.
Im gonna use the holidays to recharge. I need it, as i mentioned before I'm being medicated for clinical depression which i inherited from my dad and a bunch of childhood issues triggered. This whole situation has sorta triggered an episode, and some days r fine i wont lie, others days not so fine, so i'll just have to see how i go, keep puttingone foot in front of the other and let things become ok. My only problem is i feel the issues slip from me before i have a chance to really feel what i'm feeling about these things, and to deal with them, oh i don't know today, it's just one of those days where i dont know whats up or down.
Dad's drinking in moderation, one or two glasses a night, and he had his first session of hynotherapy today, seems good, we'll see. He's wearing his wedding ring again, he hasnt worn it in years, cos he doesnt like wearing jewellery. I think he is making changes, trying to make things up to mum, he needs to make things up to me too, I still havent forgiven him for a lot of things and i wont for a while....