(((Givemeabreak)))
You didn't cause it. Neither did I. My son is a heroin addict. Bipolar too. I identify with just about everything you've stated. But, we can't change it, control it, or cure it. We can learn to cope with it, though.
Please get to alanon or naranon. And a book that I found very helpful was Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I learned how to identify and own what was mine and what was not. The insanity you're experiencing is a result of trying to control that which is not yours. Well, at least it was for me...
I look forward to getting to know you as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!