Most recent ex was a dry drunk when I married him and an active drunk when I divorced him.
Previous H was not a drinker when we were married, but he did have severe clinical depression, and told me recently that he thinks he might be an A also.
We are programmed by any number of things to be attracted to them! as they are programmed to be attracted to us. It's a 2 way street, remember. Alkies are attracted to codies just as strongly as codies are attracted to alkies.
In my case I'm pretty sure it's because I'm looking for a way to make my childhood relationship with my father to WORK this time! by golly I'm gonna fix this one and he's going to love me like my dad never did!
Now I've set my boundary. No More Alkies or ACOAs. Now I know what to look for, and what it means, and how serious it is. Now I know what recovery looks like. And most importantly I know that I CAN'T FIX THEM AND I CAN'T REMAKE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS THROUGH THEM.