Hlp.....what you have described is someone who suffers from a disease of inability to control their drinking.
Help, hope and happiness is possible. But only if you really want it.
AA works.....so many in your shoes there. My local AA room is a high bottom room...meaning plenty of sucesfful professionals there.
The disease is an equal opportunity killer....rich folks, poor folks..hits em all.
Keep coming back....recovery is yours to be had.