Taz, ain't it the truth!!!! What is the quote out of the BB? " We did much to make them so....." talking about how we and our selfishness was the cause of their discontent. Those of us who still have spouses are lucky to have them. I know mine put up with a lot of crap from me. Do you think she signed onto a life of crying herself to sleep? Or a life of having to smell a drunk detoxing in the bed next to her. The odor that permeated the bedroom each night was stifling. We have to remember this. I am extremely blessed. My sponsor has taken me into step work and I have gotten better. My wife has joined Alanon and gotten her own sponsor. Guess what, the blessings keep coming. My latest assignment is to work on my 8th step list. I'm in the holding pattern with my other co sponsees. We are all doing this deal at the same pace. My wife and I came home from a holiday meeting on Saturday and were greeted by a Christmas tree someone in the fellowship had dropped off at our house. I am almost certain my sponsor did it. I told him that whoever did that random act of kindness has our immense gratitude. He said," random acts of kindness happen to people who progress in the program and if I knew who did this for you and told you, I'd have to kill you." Ha Ha Ha. At 44 years old this is the best year of my life. I'm living the dream. And it's a result of digging into the program of AA, working the steps and getting access to God.