Guess what, it's alcoholism. It really is. If you read The Doctor's Opinion it describes this very thing. We are irritable, restless, and discontent. The reactions you are having to life are completely normal if you are a real alcoholic like me. Alcohol was my solution to this spiritual malady. And it worked for a long time. And then it stopped working. The good news is that there is a solution. You are going to AA, so that is the first hurdle. Getting our butts through the doors and into a chair takes a lot. You're seeking a sponsor and that is the right track. he will guide you through the steps and before you know it you will no longer react to life, you will live life on life's terms. You will no longer see your spouse as being selfish, but you will focus on where you are being selfish. You will want to help others more than you want to help yourself. But it takes the work to get there. It doesn't happen over night. The sooner you can get into step work the better.