Thanks for all of your replies. At the end of the day she is a decent person, but there are some long standing disagreements and issues that won't go away. I haven't discussed it with my sponsor because the only guy I've discussed sponsorship with is someone I could see being friends with - and I kind of want someone long term who is older than me and has little interest in friendship - just success. (in other words, I don't really have a sponsor)
I think the issues I am describing here go beyond alcoholism. Perhaps they are the things that I was covering up with booze, even though I didn't think I was covering anything up. I tend to be pretty strongminded emotionally so I didnt expect it all to crash in on me and **** me off so much.
Who knows? One day at a time.