not taking her calls is a personal boundary for me.
I agree it is a decision each person has to make for theirselves.
First, I had to give myself some time to process all the emotions I had about what was going on, if I don't; it is possible that I would react to some of the things she would say over the phone.
The nite that she called 6 times in less than 30 mins, was the nite that I had just found out about it - so I needed some time and space. As with many A's, she only wants to hear what she wants to hear.
She may say "Oh, I hear you, I understand you don't want to talk about that and then go right back to the same subject."
She's not in recovery, so of course that's all she's going to do.
What may be enabling for me and my situation may not be for you. So please just because I can't take calls today, doesn't mean that you can't, my friend. That is the beauty of recovery, we have choices.
I may sign back on-line on Monday and tell you that I was able to go visit her Sunday - who knows - not I that is too far away for me to even think about. Today at 3:00 pm, I know I'm not in the right place to take calls from her from jail. That's my decision right now, it could change. I will trust that my HP will guide me on what is right for me and for her.
It is so tough to know what is right with our precious children - balance is the main thing that I try to ask other parents to try for - balance in taking care of themselves as well as their children - whether they be 2 or 20 or 30.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita