I also let go and let AH decide what he wanted to do. He filed the divorce papers, but didn't serve me for 4 months. One time he said to me, just tell me what to do. I said I couldn't.
I don't spend too much time trying to figure out what goes on his mind, I'm too busy with my own LOL, but I sometimes wonder about the connection between him filing/serving, his drawing this out into a 5 month trial (and 2 year divorce), and the nastiness from him. Would he have pretended to be nicer if I acted the way he expected me to?
Stay vigilant, QT, and good luck!