Thanks mama, It's definately something i will consider. Perhaps in my own time i will work up to it. Right now i'm still living in hope that he's not all the way gone and something or somehow he will just cut down one day, judging from the realism on this site i'll probably get a quick slap in the face for thinking that, but i suppose someone has to shake me out of my naivety before i get even more hurt waiting for something thats never gonna happen. It's just sad to me that i have to become so cynical before i've even turned 19...