Very well said duet. JMHO. It's just manipulation. Sometime ago in counseling, I learned that forgiveness really is to heal our own wounds, and that an apology, a true, sincere and proper apology is made when a person has empathy for their transgressions, is remorseful, recognizes the hurt that was caused, and specficially takes full responsibility by saying "I'm sorry that I said or did x, and that you felt y because of it. I understand how and what you feel and I'm truly sorry that I made you feel that way. I will try my best to do z to make sure that it doesn't happen again".
If we forgive regardless of whether there is a truly sincere apology, it is entirely for ourselves. But an apology can help sometimes make us ready to forgive by removing some of the hurt, and apologies seem to help not only those receiving it, but those who are making it too, because "most" people who are capable of empathy feel bad about what they have done and need to heal from that as well.
My exagf did not seem to know much about empathy or apologies. I forgive her because I know she has a problem, but I don't accept her problem, and I don't have to let her be a part of my life if I don't want to. And I don't
