Krissy2007

I think I drink because it loosens me up (makes me sort-of happy - at least for a little bit). It allows me to pass out and fall asleep easily. I don't have to think about stuff - basic stuff - like money, stuff I have to do, etc. It allows me to avoid unpleasant things. I use it as my reward for getting through the day - which seems really sad now that I type it out. If the kids are fighting or being naughty, I reach for beer to "get me through it." And, it really is a habit now. As in, it is almost automatic. Get home, crack open beer, sit down, watch tv. Socially, it loosens me up, but I think I have kind-of surpassed that - I actually prefer to drink alone now.

My husband is probably a classic enabler. He buys me beer whenever I ask (usually on his way home from work) - he has said he wishes I would drink less. But, he doesn't push. He does not drink really at all. He used to drink a lot (before I knew him) but we have been married 10 years and together for 12 - and I have seen him drunk once - after his bachelor party. He has had maybe 3 beers in the last year. He is proud I went to the meeting and he wants to support me. He just doesn't know what will make me happy (neither do I apparently). I asked him tonight if he thought I was an alcoholic and he said he doesn't know.

I am pretty sure I am though. Most people can't drink 15 - 16 beers in a night, can they?