Tabithacat

Hi,

I am a newbie to this site, and to the drama of being the loved one of an addict! (Actually it's been a good year and half, but this is the first time I've tried to take more charge of my part in this life!)

My A is about 4 weeks into a community treatment program, supposedly 48 days clean, and yesterday I found meth in his bag again. He say's he's not using (why the pipe and lighter with it then?!!), [I]just selling off the remainder of his stash!! And only for the fact he 'needs the money'.

I feel terrible that I even snooped (I had seen him with the wallet he keeps it in a week back and been worrying since), that I don't trust him, that I didn't just ask him outright without snooping.

It puts me in a horrid position- if I tell the treatment centre he'd be chucked out and it will take even longer for him to get to the residential in-patient program, but if I don't say anything am I enabling?!

I'm angry that he would bring it into my house. I'm sick of the fact that his excuse is he has debts to pay off, why is it always about money?!

I'm scared, I feel alone, and I don't know who and when to trust! I know I'm supposed to live each day new, but I'm struggling with that right now.