I am a newbie; how to live from day to day?!

Old 11-24-2007, 02:40 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NZ
Posts: 32
I am a newbie; how to live from day to day?!


I am a newbie to this site, and to the drama of being the loved one of an addict! (Actually it's been a good year and half, but this is the first time I've tried to take more charge of my part in this life!)

My A is about 4 weeks into a community treatment program, supposedly 48 days clean, and yesterday I found meth in his bag again. He say's he's not using (why the pipe and lighter with it then?!!), [I]just selling off the remainder of his stash!! And only for the fact he 'needs the money'.

I feel terrible that I even snooped (I had seen him with the wallet he keeps it in a week back and been worrying since), that I don't trust him, that I didn't just ask him outright without snooping.

It puts me in a horrid position- if I tell the treatment centre he'd be chucked out and it will take even longer for him to get to the residential in-patient program, but if I don't say anything am I enabling?!

I'm angry that he would bring it into my house. I'm sick of the fact that his excuse is he has debts to pay off, why is it always about money?!

I'm scared, I feel alone, and I don't know who and when to trust! I know I'm supposed to live each day new, but I'm struggling with that right now.
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Old 11-24-2007, 02:54 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
If the drugs are in their pockets, you can bet their in their system. Do they do drops at the treatment center? They should find out through that method. Welcome to the site. there are plenty on here who have been in your shoes. My son is my addict, so I understand the anger and the pain.
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Old 11-24-2007, 03:26 PM
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DevastatedJP's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 138
I am new to this also. My husband is an addict of everything and I have found much strength, endless knowledge and support from this website. Your welcome to read some of my posts. I direct you here because there is some very good feedback from several that I now consider my friends, especially "Nytepassion". She has a story and a website and she is so wise and strong. Keep coming back. Read and try very hard to apply strategies to your life that will help YOU come out of this 'drama' as unscathed as possible.

Hugs and prayers!
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Old 11-24-2007, 04:28 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to S.R. there are plenty of wifes here on our site that will come along later. lots of times the weekend is slow here. my son is my addict & i know the pain of wanting them to be clean & stay clean. the first thing we learn is we are powerless. they will use or not use regaurdless of what we say or do.if you found the stuff he is using. you do not have to tell the faculity he is in. i am sure they will test him & even if they don't it is hands off the addict. leave his recovery to him & learn to take care of yourself by letting go & letting your H.P. it is hard but that is what our recovery is all about. we learn to have a life with or without them.set boundries for him,what you are willing to put up with & what you are not. if he does not stop using it is only going to get the stickys at the top of the forum,read "what addicts do" read around all the other post.make yourself at home & keep coming back.prayers, hope
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Old 11-24-2007, 05:11 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: north east
Posts: 58

You will find the answers you are looking for here. I check the alcoholic forms and the substance abuse forms as I need to learn about my husbands problems. I get on the family and friends forms to comfort my soul!!!!

Thanks to this site I am able to cope and have come a very long way in my long journey back to my life. I am not still there but I work on it every day.

Welcome and tons of hugs!!!! No joke- this site is full of information and tells it like it is!!!
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Old 11-24-2007, 11:04 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NZ
Posts: 32
Thanks. Yes they do test regularly. And it was his twice-monthly night out so I'm assuming they get tested after night release. I know he has seeked out masking agents in past though... don't know how effective that is.
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