Bonbon,
I have been reading Choices by M. Beattie and after reading this statement:
I hate my judgment sometmes, I mean I am glad I have it...but I feel like I really dont know which way to go.
it came to me that you do feel like you don't know which way to go, but could it be you don't like the choices you are being offered? You really seem to only have two and neither "fit" what ideally you would want.....or so it seems. I am not trying to tell you what you think...only tell you what I see. Choice 1) turn him down and feel responsible because he isn't ready to be on his own, choice 2) let him move in even with red flags flying and face the possiblity of getting yourself in a sticky situation
Bottom line....the choice you make should be based on YOU and what YOU can live with....not "taking care" of him.
Hang tough...you have the answers.....maybe not what you where looking for, but you DO have them.
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
Constant