Sounds like you feel the way I and pretty much everyone does after their 1st meeting.
You need to try more and different types.
You know I cane from a strong Catholic upbringing and it does not matter how much faith you really have, this is a whole different ball game.
It reads here that you are looking for those who have felt the same. Kind of sounds like you want validation for how you feel.
IMHO.
I say give some bigger group meetings a chance.
I wise elder there once said to me.
“ What do you have to loose? If after 3 months you feel the same way, your misery will be refunded."