I am one of the wives who did not stay with my husband even though he has found recovery. My decision wasn't based on how hard it would be, living with the possibility of relapse, or the the difficulty of making the relationship work. My husband's addiction made me take a good long look at myself. Made me ask why I chose the relationship to begin with, and what I wanted my life to be.
In the end, I realized that we were together for all the wrong reasons. That we would likely never help and encourage each other to be who we were meant to be. In short, we are better apart than we ever were or could be together.
I encourage you to search your heart and soul for what is right for you and your life. But, don't make the decision based on how hard it is to stay with him, because I am here to tell you that's it's hard whatever you choose. Life is a challenge. And now that I'm coming to know myself, I wouldn't have it any other way.
L
P.S. In case you don't know my story, we were together almost 20 years and have two children.