Nikki:
Nar-Anon has helped me survive the insanity of loving an addict, have you looked into meetings in your area? I have learned a lot and hope you'll check it out to save your own life. Remember, the airline instructions to parents state that you should put the oxygen mask on yourself first so that you can be healthy enough to save your children. Nar-Anon will provide you with the tools, but you've got to use them.
Blessings!